Heartbreak Changed My Life…

We’ve all been through heartbreak at some point in our lives. Yes, we ALL have. I know I have.
Remember that time you wanted to go out with mummy and she said “Go get your shoes” but before you came back, she was gone. Yeah, Heartbreak!

Remember that beautiful, beautiful gift you wanted so badly for Christmas or for your birthday. You were so sure you would get it because you had dropped every possible hint. There was absolutely no way anyone would miss it. But then you opened your present on the D-day and it was the exact opposite of what you were expecting. They should have just written HEARTBREAK on a piece of paper and presented it to you right?

Or maybe it was a friend who broke your heart, or maybe a guy or a girl you liked. Do you remember my heartbreak story that I told you here? So so many heartbreaking things.

But that is not the only way we have had our hearts broken or our expectations cut off.  You probably had mental pictures or ideas of how the future would look like. But now, you are in the future and it is not looking like the image you saw. At all. At that moment you can feel like you have failed, like you are a disappointment or that you are not enough. I’ve felt that more times than I can count but instead of breaking me, I let it mould me. Heartbreak changed my life and taught me lessons I could never learn anywhere else. This is what I would be sharing with you –the lessons heartbreak taught me.

1. The Power of Acceptance

I don’t know if you have read the book but in The 7 Laws of Spiritual Success by Deepak Chopra, he dedicated a whole chapter (Law #4) to how we have no choice but to accept whatever happens to us with open arms if we cannot change it, because if we fight and resist it, we are generating a lot of turbulence in our minds. I learned to accept things I cannot change because if you don’t accept it, you are just giving yourself unnecessary emotional stress. I remember how I used to cry when they (my family) leave the house without me. I would cry so much and give myself a headache. It took time, but I eventually learnt to accept the unchangeable.

2. To navigate another direction.

Heartbreak taught me to move on, to navigate to another direction. Sometimes, when your heart is set on something, it is so hard to willingly let it go. You are convinced it is for you and so you tighten your grip even when it is obviously not working out. I learnt that doing that is just me hurting myself unnecessarily. Maybe you’ve already had three kids for this guy in your head and you’ve built your mansion together in Banana Island. Snap out of it sweetie. Move on. You’ll definitely find someone new, or better opportunities. Whatever it is that looks like it was taken from you, there would be something better that’ll stay.

3. That I can’t ALWAYS have my way.

When I was little, I would throw a tantrum when something does not go my way. Every single time. I wonder if my parents were starting to think something was wrong with me. I soon got to learn that life doesn’t work that way. I can’t ALWAYS have MY way. You can’t ALWAYS have YOUR way. But some people are still like that, throwing tantrums every time something doesn’t go their way. Snap out of it. This is real life. But if you really really need things to ALWAYS go your way then I have a hack for you. Let whatever you want be only what God wants. Simple!

4. That there are far worse pains than physical pain.

There are some kinds of emotional pain you would feel that would  teach you that in this life, there are far worse pains than physical pain. Heartbreak is one of those kinds of pains. At those moments, you may not even realize you’ve not eaten or the headache from constant crying. Wipe your tears boo. There’s hope for the future.

5. I don’t need validation from anyone other than myself. 

I was really big on validation from other people but after so many heartbreaks, I soon started to look to myself for validation before anyone else. I would say “Tomi, you are a queen. You are amazing. You are doing great sweetie. Love you.” Yeah, hilarious..I know!

6. Life Goes On

Biggest lesson ever! Whatever happens, life goes on. I’m reminded so much about this when I’m heartbroken and I see people just going about their normal activities. People are on the road, in the market, at work etc. I’m reminded that no matter what it is, life goes on and it would not wait for me to finish wallowing in self-pity. So I pick myself up, dust my dress, adjust my crown, and move on.

7. There is a lesson or purpose behind every challenge.

If you don’t see it, find it. There is a lesson behind even the littlest things that happen to us daily. How much more huge challenges that constitute heartbreak?

8. Brought me closer to God.

When I was a little girl and something was breaking my heart, I would pray and ask God to fix it. I guess I viewed God like a genie or a magician or something. But then as I grew older and experienced more and more heartbreaks, I had a lot of questions. I wanted to know why bad things happen to good people or to anybody at all. I wanted to know why sometimes it looked like my prayers were not being answered. I wanted to know a lot of things. At the end, it all drew me closer to God and to a better understanding of who He really is.

9. Makes you a stronger, better person.

Diamonds are created through pressure. Gold is refined through fire. It doesn’t matter what it is that you might have been through. The fact that you still rose above it proves that you are indeed stronger and better. You are gold sweetie. Pure gold.

10. That there is always that one heartbreak that you never really heal from. 

That heartbreak is when you read this post without sharing or subscribing to my blog. It really hurts😭😭😭 so please please don’t break my heart. Just scroll down and subscribe to my blog. Yeah really. Do it!  Thank you. Oh BTW I’m kidding, you can definitely heal from any heartbreak. It may be very tough. It may be extremely slow. But it can happen!

Thank you so much for reading darling. What has heartbreak taught you? I really want to know. Share with me in the comments section. Have a great weekend!

Much love 😍

Your tiny eyed storyteller.

10 thoughts on “Heartbreak Changed My Life…

  1. Heart break taught me how to draw strength from God, from within and from my friends. That shaking yourself from the dust and getting back up was the greatest karma I could ever serve.
    Great write up Tomi 🙌

    Liked by 1 person

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