Imagine this scenario and DO NOT LIE! I’m serious. Imagine it. You are at your place of work. Let’s assume you’re the front desk person or wait, no. You’re a management staff. You just happened to be at the reception to pick up something. The receptionist is not present at the moment.
A bad ass car pulls up in front of the office. It’s a glass door so you can see as the occupant steps out of the car. The first thing you notice are the shoes. Perfect 4-inch silver stilettos. Now look up and see the full outfit. Damnnn that gown looks good on her. But isn’t it too much? You’re thinking “Shey this one is going to party ni?”
She removes her shades, flips her hair and now you see the face. “Ugh! See make up!!! Is it her wedding?” She is even so young. Can’t be more than 21. While you are still assessing, she walks into the office. Her poise is A1.
Now she walks up to you.
“Excuse me, please I’m looking for….”
You don’t hear the rest of what she’s saying. You’re too distracted by her “oyinbo” accent. Who is she forming for abeg?
“Sorry what did you say?”
Don’t worry. She’ll repeat it.
“I said I’m looking for Jules.”
“Err..there is no Jules in this office.”
“But he asked me to come here”
“There is no Jules here”
“Wow! Thanks. Let me call him.”
She brings out her iphone X and now you can’t take it anymore.
“See I’m not the front desk person. When he comes, he’ll attend to you.”
And with that, you walk back off. Riding into the sunset of your office. O r the sunset of your ignorance thinking “Who is this one sef?” or “Who does this one think she is?” or “Mtchew…forming nonsense” or “Awon runs girls oshi”. Haha maybe you’re not thinking any of this, but you’re actually thinking something close. Don’t lie. Don’t lie. Let it out. Good!
Congratulations. You are a true Nigerian, which begs the question: WHY DO NIGERIANS HATE CONFIDENT PEOPLE? Or more importantly, what do we have against people who are confident, expressive, assertive or rich (in terms of material wealth)?
Let’s shake this table.
But note that these are EXCLUSIVELY my thoughts. I do not in any way represent millions of Nigerians who do or do not fall into the category I’m addressing.
I honestly think most Nigerians don’t exactly hate confident, rich or assertive people. What they hate is pride/arrogance, which is more often than not, perceived alongside these three. Most people are however unable to distinguish so it just ticks their brain as arrogance and they react as such.
Till now, some people are of the mentality that one cannot be wealthy, in terms of money, and still be humble. A twitter user once said that for a pastor to have so much material wealth, then he does not mirror the humility that Christ showed us. Hell oh hell!
The point is that sometimes people just assume a person’s character from what they look, dress or talk like. You sometimes need to look a little deeper before reacting the way your brain feels about someone. If the person has not wronged you in any way or knowingly spoken to you condescendingly then don’t judge immediately. Time is a true judge of character and it’ll tell.
Next, I think a major issue stems from societal and cultural expectations. We have been groomed to consciously or subconsciously expect certain things from people. We expect them to dress a certain way, to have certain values, to talk a certain way and on and on like that. We basically have expectations of how people should present themselves and if they do anything even slightly off the chart of our expectation, something inside us ticks. It just ticks.
Next time you meet that person wearing ‘too much makeup’ or wearing party dress on a normal day ask yourself “Is it my party dress?????? Or am I just expecting her to dress the way I would dress?” “Is he really annoying or is his confidence just intimidating?”
Ohhh then there are the people who just lack self- confidence or maybe not so well-to-do. Seeing what they do not have being mirrored in others just irks them because jealousy really is a bitch. I have no advice for this clan really. Stay less jealous. Build your confidence. Grind and hustle. But honestly, if this is you when you don’t have money, nothing would change when you do because there’ll always be people wealthier than you. Just accept the ultimate wealth of salvation and change your attitude towards life.
Finally, I would talk about the category I used to fall in. It used to annoy me when people talk about some of their accomplishments especially in situations that I didn’t think it was necessary. In my mind, I called it bragging. Unnecessary, mouthless bragging. But then I learnt:
- It is not MY accomplishment. Who am I to dictate when they can or cannot talk about it? Really who am I to say when they should or should not be proud of their doings?
- It is not ALWAYS pride. Most times, these are things that people worked hard for and they would of course want to share at every opportunity they get.
- It is continual motivation for other people who want to achieve same.
- They might be trying to sell themselves with those accomplishments or a host of other reasons.
Basically, I have just learnt not to judge people. You can never tell what is going on in their minds except they tell you or express it. If they don’t express it, don’t assume.
In conclusion, material wealth does not equal pride. Confidence does not equal arrogance. Presenting oneself with proper poise and speaking good English does not equal forming. No one is obligated to fit into the the subconscious box you have created for them.
With these few points of mine, I hope I’ve been able to convince you that while it seems like Nigerians hate confident people, it really is not their true intention (at least, for most people). They just need to distinguish some characteristics from character, judge less and let go of societal expectations. I said my piece! Peaceee outtttt!!!!
Heyyyyy wait! What are your thoughts? Comments section Plixxx😘😘😘
Your tiny eyed story teller.