Becoming Tomilola: Road to Today and Lessons Learned. | #WinterABC #Day4

It’s hard to write about who I am today. It’s even harder to write about how I became who I am today. You see, the person that I am at the moment is shaped by every single one of my previous experiences. Every person I have met. Every place I have been. Everything I have seen. Every single thing that life has thrown at me. And that, is why it’s challenging for me to write about how I became who I am. But it’s okay. I’ll give it a try.

You probably know me as Tomi of Lagos. The blogger girl who (fill in the blanks…) I heard that everyone sees you in such a different light that it’d surprise you to hear their views. So I’d leave the blank spaces to you to fill.

The easiest way to summarize my life’s journey is in lessons. Because with every person, place, experience, or situation, there was always a lesson. It could be really tiny or really big. But it was always there. So today, in this pseudo-autobiography, I’m going to share a few lessons I’ve learned on my journey and maybe the stories behind the first time I learned them. I’m hoping this makes sense to other people apart from me. Because another lesson I’ve learned is that what makes sense to you may never make sense to other people.

• STAY POSITIVE.

Honestly, this took a while for me to learn. I would always say “I’m not being pessimistic. I’m just being realistic.” But honestly, what I was really being was ‘scared’. I was scared of “thinking positively” and then things don’t turn out okay in the end.

I’m sitting on my bed one day, expecting feedback from a job I applied to and it occurs to me. Okay so what if things don’t turn out okay? How does expecting the worst right now help you, other than making you feel the disappointment from much earlier?

I eventually got the job. But I also learned that staying positive does not mean that things would automatically always turn out okay. Rather, it is knowing that you would be okay no matter how things turn out.

Staying positive does not mean that things would automatically always turn out okay. Rather, it is knowing that you would be okay no matter how things turn out.

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• ENJOY THE MOMENTS.

I’ve spent most of my life focused on destinations. I think back to the best times I had when I was younger. High school. University. And most of what I can remember is me looking forward to something. Prizes. Graduation. CGPA. Life after school. The next big thing. Something. I never really took any time to just enjoy the stage of my life that I’m currently at.

Sometime last year, it hit me. I wasn’t living in the moment. I wasn’t enjoying the moment. I was just always trying to get to the next bus stop. Never stopping to enjoy the ride. I knew immediately that that had to change.

Time flies darling. Before you know it, the moments will become nothing but memories. Enjoy and focus on the moments while they last. Enjoy the seemingly little things. You will look back one day (maybe two decades later like me) and realize that they were the big things.

Time flies darling. Before you know it, moments will become nothing but memories. Enjoy them while they last. Enjoy the seemingly little things. You’ll look back one day and realize that they were the big things.

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• YOU CAN LEAVE THE BOX.

Life. Society. The world in general. They have a way of making you feel like you are in a box. Like you are limited. They have a way of letting you think there are things you cannot or should not do. They have a way of letting you believe that you’re aiming for too much. Like you need to lower your standards. Reduce your dreams. Or expect disappointment.

They have a way of letting you feel like you have to be one thing. But here’s the thing. I’ve never wanted to be one thing. Not since I was a kid. I’ve always had a LOT of aspirations. So, you can imagine my disappointment being made to to believe that I cannot do everything I want to do. I made a post about this and if you read it, you’d understand how I was able to navigate from feeling like I was trapped in a box to realizing that I could leave the box anytime I please.

Now, I consciously let myself know that I don’t have to be one thing. It doesn’t matter how well I do at the things I want to do or be. What matters is that I’m doing the things that make me feel most fulfilled.

Writing this made me do a lot of thinking back and I’m super grateful for that. I recognize that I’m still growing on this journey and I’m certain that I will still learn and unlearn many more things. So, I’m going to leave you with a question. If you were asked to write about your life’s journey right now, what would you write about??? I’m excited to read your comments.

Love,

Tomi of Lagos.